Living Lutheran

How has your congregation dealt with the loss of a charismatic leader?

2012-05-16T04:50:00-06:00

In his recent blog, John Wertz writes about what the loss of Steve Jobs could mean to Apple and draws a parallel to congregations that have thrived under a charismatic leader only to stumble when that person leaves. Has your congregation been in such a situation? What was done to recover from the loss?

You might also want to read:
Ask bigger questions
Planting the seeds for leadership
Congregational conflict

Jesus ‘at-oned’ us

2012-05-16T04:45:00-06:00

We need one another in order to learn and to practice what it means to be Christian, to each other and to the world.

Lectionary blog for John 17:6-19
Texts for the Seventh Sunday of Easter, May 20, 2012

Jesus prays in John’s Gospel, “Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one” (17:11).

We are called to be united as the community of faith; yet we look around us and see much disunity and division in congregations.

One of the congregations I served in North Carolina had had a split in the 1890s. It involved hurt feelings and loud meetings and even a synod president threatened with arrest. After the dust settled there were three congregations where for the previous 150 years there had been one.

Most of us agree that we want unity; we desire oneness. We lament the divisions and debates that drive us apart. We do not want to be divided, yet all too often, we are.

Why? In the face of our Lord’s command and our desire, why do we so frequently find ourselves at odds with each other?

The witness of Scripture is pretty clear on two points here:

1) Our disunity springs from seeking to do things our own way.

2) The path to unity and oneness lies in seeking to do things God’s way.

Time and time again when the people of God lose their focus on God, trouble ensues. This trouble is not punishment from God; it is the natural result of we who are, essentially spiritual beings failing to attend to necessary spiritual things.

It is in unity with the holy, the divine, the spiritual that we find wholeness within ourselves and unity with each other.

The words atone and atonement have an interesting history in English. We generally speak of “atoning” for our sins as somehow doing something to earn forgiveness, or performing some act of penance or restitution to make up for the bad that we have done.

In theology, “atonement’ has become the name for the doctrine of what God in Christ accomplished by his death upon the cross.

What’s interesting is that the English root word doesn’t exactly mean making up for or paying for one’s sins or mistakes or crimes. The root word means “reconciliation.”

It comes from the Middle English “atonen,” “to become reconciled” and from the early French “at on,” “in harmony” “at + on = one” (Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary, p.56).

How do we achieve unity, oneness, harmony with God and with each other? Well, it seems obvious it begins with Christ and the cross.

Jesus stood among his disciples at the Last Supper and prayed that they might be one. Then he went out and did something about it. He reconciled, he harmonized, he “at-oned” us. Christ made us one with God and one with each other.

My favorite professor at the Lutheran seminary in Columbia, S.C., Dr. J. Benjamin Bedenbaugh defined God’s act of reconciliation as “God hugging the world to himself in an embrace of love.” (Classroom lecture, Spring 1983)

God has made peace with us and, by extension, between us. If we are one with God, then we are also one with each other. Many people today talk about being spiritual without being religious. Among the many things that are meant by that is a wrong-headed privatization of faith, a “me and God are just all right,” kind of individualism. This will simply not do if we are to live fully as Christians.

We have a need to be with each other within the body of Christ, the church, if for no other reason than without it we cannot learn to love and to be loved alone. It is within the daily bump and grind of life together, of living, working, playing and praying together as the people of God that we find out what it means to be genuinely forgiven for our failures, praised for our efforts, appreciated for our virtues, prayed for in our sorrows, helped in the midst of our troubles, and loved in spite of ourselves.

It is only within the community of faith that we learn to be genuinely loving, praising, forgiving and helping toward others. We need each other in order to learn and to practice what it means to be Christian, to each other and to the world.

God calls us to do all that we can to be agents of at-one-ness. It begins within the community gathered around word and sacrament, then spills out the doors into the streets, walking out with arms and hearts wide open, seeking to embrace the world with love of God.

Talkback:

Who are the ones that God has given us from the world?
Who are we to pray for, protect, love and minister to?

Delmer Chilton is an assistant to the bishop of the Southeastern Synod of the ELCA, with responsibility for eastern and central Tennessee, northern Alabama and northern Georgia. Ordained in 1977, he has served parishes in North Carolina, Georgia and Tennessee.

You might also want to read:
Reflecting Jesus in the community of the baptized
Called into community
Unity in the words of worship

Life without expectations

2012-05-16T04:44:00-06:00

“I have found happiness, friendship and most importantly a home on the other side of the world. I have a family here!” says Molly Cook of her service in Malaysia.

By Sarah Carson

Molly Cook has no problem admitting that faith hasn’t always come easily for her.

“I am fascinated when learning anything about religion,” she says, “but it is having that gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, never-ceasing, blind faith that I have never quite succeeded with.”

Lately, though, Molly says faith has been getting a lot easier due in part to a decision she made to dedicate a year of her life to serving abroad.

Molly is participating in an ELCA churchwide ministry that provides young adults an opportunity to volunteer overseas as a servant-leader for this church. Through ELCA Missionary Sponsorship, 230 ELCA missionaries serving in nearly 50 countries are supported, thanks to the generosity of ELCA members.

In the young adults program, volunteers are placed around the world to work in community, grow in their faith and better understand their place in God’s world.

And understanding her place in God’s world is something Molly has definitely been learning a lot about.

Molly’s assignment has taken her to Kota Kinabalu, Sabeh, Malaysia, where she works at Sabeh Cheshire Home, a school that teaches people with disabilities some important life skills so that they may be able to lead productive, happy lives.

The journey to Kota Kinabalu, Molly says, has been eye-opening.

“This past May I graduated college,” Molly writes in her bi-monthly newsletter to friends and family back home. “And now, here I am, six months later in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. I have found happiness, friendship and most importantly a home on the other side of the world. I have a family here!”

In her first few months of service, Molly has already been on quite an adventure.

When she’s not teaching English phonics lessons to the students in the pastry skills certificate program at Sabeh Cheshire House, she’s attending retreats with other young adult volunteers in Singapore and Hong Kong, spending time snorkeling and exploring Malaysia with her new friends and colleagues, and trying lots of new cuisine.

“I have developed a couple of mottos since coming here,” Molly says. “The first is ‘always say yes!’ The second is to ‘live without expectations’ and the third, ‘eat first, ask questions later.’”

Molly has also found a home in a local congregation as a member of the Eklektos Youth Group at Basel Christian Church of Malaysia.

“I was very intimidated to attend their youth service on Saturday nights, and so, for the first few weeks, I didn’t go,” she says. “However, on the first night that I did attend, I knew it was going to be OK … . I felt at home. I was welcomed in with open arms, and seeing their faces, hearing them sing, and enjoying their company has been my favorite part of my journey thus far.”

In particular, Molly has found the ELCA methodology of accompaniment to be a strong, guiding principle in adapting to her new home away from home.

“I have found accompaniment through walking side-by-side with the people in my new communities,” she says. “When I think about accompaniment in my own life, I realize how eager I am to learn, to grow, to understand the world around me. I ask questions, I listen, I interpret, and I learn. By asking questions of my own and offering answers to others I have built connections and relationships simply by being myself.”

Faith has been a journey for Molly, but the one thing she’s never struggled with is the power one person has to make an impact on another.

“Although there are plenty of reasons on the news each night to doubt humanity,” she says, “there are also countless moments every day where I am in awe of it.”

“The simple beauty in making someone smile just by saying ‘hi,’” she continues. “Knowing what can happen when people come together to do something great has always been inspiring to me.”

This faith in people and the power to inspire may be what brought Molly to Malaysia, but it’s her faith in something bigger that is transforming her experience there.

“I wasn’t ready for this change, to join the ‘real world,’” she reflects. “I wanted to grieve the death of adolescence instead of face my big, scary future. Little did I know that this ‘ending’ was just the beginning of something so much greater than I could have ever imagined.”

Sarah Carson is a freelance writer and editor who lives in Chicago.

You might also want to read:
Speaking the language of faith
Shards of glass
A life of ‘Ubuntu’

How has immigration impacted your life?

2012-05-15T04:50:00-06:00

Has the immigration issue gone from the news stories to your personal or congregational life? Are you or your congregation involved in helping those who are undocumented and living in the U.S.? What have you learned from the experience?

You might also want to read:
Immigration in the church
Welcome the stranger
Courageous hospitality

Turning points

2012-05-15T04:45:00-06:00

An early turning point: first steps

Originally posted May 9, 2012, at I’m into Grace. Republished with permission of the author.

Turning points. “Aha!” moments. We’ve all had them. They are times of revelation, of transformation. Something or someone touched our lives and we were never the same again. We look back and say, “From then on … .”

My dad was diagnosed with cancer for the first time when I was in second grade. I visited him in the hospital and went to radiation appointments with him. From then on, I treasured every moment and understood the difference between infinite and finite.

I went to Bible camp in the sixth grade and Jesus came alive for me. From then on, God was not distant and other. God didn’t have a German accent and slicked-back hair like my childhood pastor. God looked like the person next to me and felt like the breeze on my face. God was vibrant like the perfect white clouds against the deep blue sky.

I dated an atheist in high school. From then on, I understood that we don’t all believe the same things or express our beliefs in the same way. I was shattered by this realization. Now I know that God is bigger than my unbelief and more complete than my belief.

The day before my dad died, my sister told me that she is gay. I told her, “I love you no matter what” — and then I hung up the phone and cried my eyes out. From then on, I realized I am called to love, not judge.

My dad died when I was about ready to graduate from college. From then on, I knew the definition of grief. I knew that the people who hold you through the deep night of the soul are actually stand-ins for Jesus.

I met my husband through a whirlwind of moving and discerning God’s call in strange and twisted life circumstances. From then on, I understood that God weaves two lives together and creates something new and beautiful and sacred when the two become one.

I gave birth to my first baby girl. From then on, I understood God’s relentless, protective, nurturing love in a completely new way.

I gave birth to my second baby girl. From then on, just when I thought I could never love another baby as much as I loved my first, God taught me that love x love = infinity.

Those are just a few of my “From then on” moments in life. And in each and every one of them, I can see God transforming me to live in a new way.

I think the ultimate turning point, “Aha!” moment, whatever you want to call it, was the turning point from the cross to the tomb to the resurrection.

From then on, Death would never have the final answer.

From then on, Love would always win.

From then on, all of creation could breathe again.

From then on …

You fill in the blank —

God is in every turning point —

and every turning point, no matter how

beautiful or painful, is a window into God’s love.

Find a link to Kris Capel’s blog I’m into Grace at Lutheran Blogs.

You might also want to read:
Finding a God of grace
Discernment or decision?
Assembly recap

Grace for the kaput mother

2012-05-15T04:44:00-06:00

At 60 miles per hour my piano rocked and rolled off the pickup truck and onto the highway. “Kersmash” went my new-used upright. “Kersplat” went my $50 investment. “Kerplunk” went my artistic aspirations.

It happened when I was in high school. “Piano for sale” read the ad in the Post Bulletin, the daily newspaper for Rochester, Minn. The asking price was within my price range, I could pay for it with the money I made from cooking fried chicken after school in the local fast-food joint.

I wasn’t particularly musical but for some reason I had a dream of playing the piano. The classified ad spoke to me. Fifty dollars worth of possibility beckoned me. I telephoned the seller and sealed the deal.

The men-folk of my family offered to transport the piano, loaded it into the back of a pickup and headed back to our house via the freeway. I didn’t go along for the transfer because there wasn’t enough room. I waited for the arrival of my would-be masterpiece but I got a phone call instead, informing me that the piano had flown off the truck bed onto the highway as the men-folk were driving full speed ahead.

It was kind of sad, I suppose, but mostly funny. Case in point — why professional piano movers exist.

We laugh about it even now, yet I have questions. How did that not cause a major vehicle pileup? Who picked up the bits and pieces of ivory and pressed wood? What exactly does a smashed piano strewn across asphalt look like?

I took it as a sign I was not meant to play the piano.

Now, over 30 years later, my 12-year-old son hates the piano and has trudged through his four years of learning to play it with a wretched attitude. He detests practice, forgets lessons, resists recitals and resents his parents for making him play.

Kerplink is my vision of procreating musical genius.

Worse yet, I keep wondering if I’m making my son take piano lessons because of my own shattered piano dreams. Am I making the classic parenting mistake of projecting my unresolved passion onto my child? Am I making him do something he hates just because I didn’t do it myself? Am I perpetrating the dreaded “when I was a kid …” onto my son?

This is but one of the many questions I have about my mothering style. How do I even begin to settle my many parenting mistakes? I could buy my son things, but that would spoil him. I could give my son candy, but that would lead to diabetes. I could do everything for him, but that would produce an inept man. And yet I’m ever so tempted to do all those things for my son, if nothing else but to make up for all the times I’ve made mistakes.

He’s almost a teenager and I worry I’ve done almost nothing to prepare him for adulthood. I could easily panic for the fear of what I’m doing wrong, for the ignorance of how I should be a better mother. For example, should I let my son quit piano? Or should I force him to push on? I honestly don’t know.

When I get into this flurry of doubt, I’m reminded of how good it is to cling to that good old catch-all Lutheran word: grace.

Grace reminds me to listen to the rhythms of forgiveness, instead of the crashes of my failures. Grace reminds me that I’m not raising my son on my own, but am part of a loving community of influencers: my family, my friends, my church, my incredibly wise husband.

Grace reminds me that probably the most important thing I could ever say to my son is, “I’m sorry” because then he will learn to do the same. Grace reminds me that I am so very inadequate, yet loved anyway. And I hope my son understands the same goes for him. That he is loved, no matter what his mother does, doesn’t, forgets, wants, needs or indulges. He is loved.

You should have heard my son at his recital last week. I was so nervous because I knew he hadn’t practiced enough, not for lack of nagging. I told him that I didn’t care how his recital turned out, I was just glad he tried, or at least kind of tried. He knew that I knew he wasn’t enjoying the whole piano lesson thing, yet I wanted him to know I was grateful he tried.

As I sat in a silent room full of parents, it was like slow motion as he walked to the grand piano for his turn. I wanted to jump into his body and play on his behalf. But it was his recital, not mine. And to be clear, I’m at a far lower level. With his curly hair dipping into his eyes, baggy pants and untucked shirt, my son shuffled to the bench and sat down in front of the ebony and ivory. No sheet music.

He would play by memory as his teacher required. I was so full of motherhood nerves yet I told myself what will be, will be. My ruffled tween-age piano player performed music by Valenti and Springer, two pieces carefully chosen by his instructor, a one-woman virtuoso at teaching curmudgeonly boys to play music. My son played and my heart melted for his relative precision. He practically nailed it, not that it mattered.

Kaput went the idea that I’m in control.

I may be his mother, but it’s grace that gets me by.

Terri Mork Speirs is a writer, mother and the communications manager for the Des Moines Area Religious Council. She recently completed a Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing.

You might also want to read:
Will we ever get settled?
Big question from a small child
All because of a dead fish

Do you tweet?

2012-05-14T04:50:00-06:00

Twitter seems to bring out the opinions in people. Many love it; many think it’s a waste of time. If you tweet, why do you find it worthwhile? How has it enriched your digital and daily life? If you don’t, and have tried it, what did you dislike?

You might also want to read:
Why I don’t tweet
Digital ministry: It’s not brain surgery
Social media sparks a new worshiping community

A message from Red Square

2012-05-14T04:45:00-06:00

Lenin’s mausoleum in Moscow’s Red Square.

Originally posted May 4, 2012, at Reflections. Republished with permission of the author.

One of the dreams of my life was fulfilled when I was able to walk into what is known today as Red Square. I tried to imagine it when I was young as Communist leaders stood up on the high walls of the Kremlin and waved their hands to huge displays of missiles and soldiers marching. It was scary yet exciting and intriguing to a young boy growing up in the middle of the Cold War.

Two summers ago, I was able to put my feet down on this piece of ground in Moscow. I also visited a mausoleum. It was a bit errie as I walked down into this modern mausoleum. There was a line but only a certain number were allowed in at a time. It was dimly lit and there was a strange smell that permeated this bomb shelter-like structure.

Then at the bottom of the steps there was a light that shone directly on the body. He looked good for being dead since the early ‘20s. He looked like he was asleep — this mummy-like body. He could have been made up by Estee Lauder and looked like someone out of Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.

There he was — Vladimir, known for over a century now by his Bolshevik name, Lenin. He was one of history’s greatest mass murderers. In the course of his ruthless efforts to impose Communism on Russia and its neighbors through brutal force, terror and extra-judicial homicides in the millions, he became one of the greatest persecutors of the Christian church in two millennia.

Lenin’s minions killed more Christians in a slow week than the last of the great Roman persecutors, Diocletian, did in years.

Boris Yeltsin along with the Orthodox Church wanted him gone. They moved Stalin a number of years earlier and put him under some trees nearby with lesser officials even though he ruled Russia with an iron fist for more than 30 years. He too was a mass murderer of even larger proportions. But when it came to moving Lenin, 30 percent were against it so Putin prevented the plans to move him. I guess 30 percent is a majority in Russia?

It was the smell of death and a desire to anoint Jesus’ body that led the women to the grave that Easter morning. No matter what you do, you can’t remove the smell of death. There is not enough embalming fluid to bring you back to your old self. In fact I kind of chuckle when I stand in front of a body during a wake and people say, “Doesn’t he look good?” I think to myself, nobody looks good after you have been embalmed. Perfume, makeup and a hairdresser can’t make you look like you are alive or bring you back to life. Death has a finality about it.

We have just been through 40 days of Lent and are deep into the Easter season. Jesus is risen — risen indeed as Christian’s have said for centuries. He is Christus Victor. He is the one who has conquered death, stared down death and has risen from the dead. This signals new life, hope, energy and vitality. This is the Christian proposal to the whole world. It comes to us in many ways — but first of all it simply says that the grave is not our final resting place. It says that love is stronger than hate, hope overcomes despair and life conquers death. Christians for centuries have declared this message of the abundant life, of new life and of life eternal.

You probably do not remember the name Nikolai Ivanovich Bukharin. During his day he was as powerful a man as there was on earth. As a Russian Communist leader he took part in the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917, was editor of the Soviet newspaper Pravda (which, by the way, means truth), and was a full member of the Politburo.

His works on economics and political science are still read today. There is a story told about a journey he took from Moscow to Kiev in 1930 to address a huge assembly on the subject of atheism. Addressing the crowd he aimed his heavy artillery at Christianity hurling insult, argument and proof against it.

An hour later he was finished. He looked out at what seemed to be the smoldering ashes of men’s faith. “Are there any questions?” Bukharin demanded. Deafening silence filled the auditorium but then one man approached the platform and mounted the lectern standing near the Communist leader. He surveyed the crowd first to the left then to the right. Finally he shouted the ancient greeting known well in the Russian Orthodox Church: “CHRIST IS RISEN!” En masse the crowd arose and in unison, the response came crashing like the sound of thunder: “HE IS RISEN INDEED!”

This is the good news we share, this is the hope we proclaim and this is the love that empowers us. This Easter season we are reminded and encouraged to not only live out this message but to share it with others.

Find a link to Marvin Henk’s blog Reflections at Lutheran Blogs.

You might also want to read:
Giving thanks
We are an Easter people in a Good Friday world
‘Our father … in heaven’ vs. ‘No god up here!’

Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma

2012-05-14T04:44:00-06:00

One of my vivid memories is looking through her telescope at night and trying to count all of the stars. I wanted to know just how many children Abraham had.

I never really “knew” my dad, an accident took him out of my life many years ago. I was very young and I cannot say that he is part of my own memories but because of my grandma I know him very well.

I know that he didn’t like wearing undershirts or eating carrots. His first love was a Camaro that he purchased with his own money. He saved for years to buy that car, working for the streets and sanitation department in his home town — part-time during the school year and full-time every summer. His favorite color was blue.

I also know that he liked to learn and that he told his teacher on the first day of kindergarten that he waited his “entire life” to go to school. He walked away from God for a few years, like so many young people do, but came back when he married my mom. He loved my mom from the first day they met and for two solid years she was the only thing he talked about at home. I know how he felt. I love my mom too.

I know that he loved me. He told my grandma that the first time I looked into his eyes that he had a feeling he could never put into words, it was “much bigger and deeper than words could describe.”

I know that both of my parents loved Grandma, they named me after her.

Thanks to my grandma I know my dad and that is one of the many reasons why I always remember her on Mother’s Day. She gave me my name and the father I never had.

Grandma has always been there for me even when we moved to another state. I talk to her every Sunday afternoon, and I spent many summers with her while my mom worked. Grandma taught me the love of books and how to dance the Sailor’s Hornpipe; she taught me the names of the planets and how to find the North Star.

One of my vivid memories is looking through her telescope at night and trying to count all of the stars. I wanted to know just how many children Abraham had. Years later she told me that my dad did the same thing. Of course neither one of us could count all of the stars; we would lose track of which stars we had already counted. But we did try very hard and as Grandma always says, “You’ll never know unless you try.”

At Grandma’s house I read The New Yorker magazine and the “cleaner” parts of The Onion. We watched plays on DVDs by writers such as Arthur Miller, Shakespeare, Sam Shepard and Neil Simon and danced polkas around the dining room table. I learned to like escargot and sugar peas. Her tastes are eclectic.

We had daily devotions that never felt like “church.” She believes in asking questions and challenging concepts. She says that we should have faith like a child and every child she has ever known asks questions.

She taught me that it is OK to be mad at God sometimes, “he can take it.”

It is also OK to love God and to never be ashamed of that love even when the other kids, friends and acquaintances, teachers, television shows and movies make us Christians look like “rabid lunatics.”

Sometimes she feels a “profound sadness” when she thinks of my dad; she told me so. But she also tells me that she can see my dad whenever she looks at me and that makes her feel very happy.

This Mother’s Day and every Mother’s Day I remember Grandma and the incredible gifts she has given me. Each day I thank God for her.

Emily Peters is finishing her first year of college, she is a lifelong Lutheran who enjoys working with children.

You might also want to read:
Loving and learning with Grandma
Heading home for the holidays
The plans I have for you

Tips for your congregation’s library

2012-05-11T07:00:00-06:00

The welcoming doors of the library at St. Matthew’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Wauwatosa, Wis., are open each Sunday morning from 9:35 to 11:00.

Are you thinking about starting a library in your congregation? Do you need to dust off the collection you already have? Here are some tips for you to follow to help get the right resource into the right hands.

Know your audience

The most important components of a congregation’s library are its resources. The books filling your shelves need to be useful to your members and in sync with the teachings of the ELCA.

Dusty commentaries from decades past are of little help to those in search of current information. But not all newer books will work in your congregation either. For instance the “Left Behind” series is contrary to the teachings of this church and should not be added to the collection.

A list of subjects being covered in sermons or Bible classes is helpful in selecting material and resources.

You also need to consider the demographics of your congregation. If your membership includes many young families you may want to stock up on DVDs. If you have a large senior membership, your readers may prefer Bible studies and inspirational reading.

If you are unsure of your congregation’s needs, you should simply ask people what materials and resources would be helpful to them. A quick and easy way to do this is to use a survey.

Simply distribute the survey after worship services, Bible studies or other events. You might be surprised by the suggestions you receive.

Purge the shelves

To offer an enticing library, weed through the collection. If your shelves are full of dilapidated copies of “Pilgrims Progress” or “Fundraising in the 48 States,” people will not want to browse the shelves too closely.

Jam packed shelves do not create an enticing library. Even books in good condition may need to be weeded out in order to increase the library’s appeal. It is important to free up space for display.

Out of sight, out of mind

In congregation libraries, as in any real estate, location is almost everything. Tucking the books away in a little room far away from foot traffic is like hiding your candle under a basket. People will not know about or remember the library if they cannot see it or it is hard to find.

Avoiding the pitfalls

One of the biggest pitfalls a library can fall into is being inconsistent. Whether it’s the circulation policy, the late return policy or even the hours, if you do not take these seriously, people will not take your library seriously.

The congregation’s librarian must be ready for conflicts. Sooner or later a member will complain about a doctrine or writing style of a book. A written policy helps to resolve issues with less stress.

Books selection tips

Here are categories of books that you may want to emphasize:

Commentaries
Systematic theology
Reference books (e.g., concordances, Bible dictionaries)
Books on church history
Bible handbooks
Books on leadership
Books on marketing
Books on specific areas of ministry
Counseling
Apologetics
Biographies
Books on families, marriage and child rearing

The congregation's responsibility to address bullying

2012-05-11T06:00:00-06:00

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. — Matthew 5:44-45

The Gospel’s summons calls the church to take responsibility in reducing physical and emotional violence. For many, the thought of bullying prompts images of “playground scuffles.”

This limited and naive view overlooks the pervasive nature of bullying, which also occurs in the classroom, workplace, homes, assisted living situations and nursing homes — and in the congregation! It affects people of all ages but is most critical when it involves children, youth or those most vulnerable.

What is bullying?

Bullying is commonly defined as intentional, repeated, hurtful acts, words, or other behavior on the part of one or more other individuals.

Among children or youth, bullying may be physical (hitting, or damaging possessions), verbal (name-calling or taunting), emotional (threatening or stalking) or social (spreading rumors or the imposition of isolation).

In adults, bullying manifests itself primarily through on-going harassment and psychological intimidation that happens when one is ridiculed, insulted, degraded, threatened or slandered.

The effects of bullying can be very serious. Research shows bullying is associated with depression, social anxiety, decreased self-esteem, anger, sadness, paranoia, stress-related health problems and decline in school or work productivity.

These symptoms are especially tragic when the bullying is perceived to be prompted by racial, ethnic or sexual orientation intolerance.

A recent study reports that nearly 90 percent of middle-school students polled reported regularly hearing homophobic slurs by their peers and over half report similar comments made by school staff.

In extreme cases of bullying, victims feel compelled to take drastic measures, such as carrying weapons for protection, seeking violent revenge or even considering suicide.

For the young aggressor, bullying often leads to greater and prolonged violence throughout life.

“Cyber-bullying,” Internet bullying, is the latest, most vicious trend in social cruelty. Web pages, email, Instant Messaging, blogs and online photo galleries provide a split-second vehicle for peers to taunt, ridicule, slander or threaten victims and their families.

Internet bullying often results in even more adverse physical and emotional consequences than “schoolyard bullying” because now, millions of online users are participants or witnesses to such aggression.

Bullying and the bystander

What about the witness? In any given group the majority of the people are neither aggressor nor victim but instead are bystanders to bullying.

For some, the moral and ethical dilemma of being a spectator afraid to intervene or to report the activity can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, withdrawal and even depression. Furthermore, bystanders often become yet another victim of the aggressor for not joining in as an accomplice.

The congregation is not immune to bullying. Sometimes individuals use bullying tactics against staff, congregation council members or others in the congregation when a planning decision or vote displeases them.

They threaten to leave the church or to stop contributions. Church bullies dominate meetings, engage in ridicule or abusive criticism or manipulate conversation such that others are silenced and disempowered.

A pastor recently recounted a time when she observed a committee member always positioning himself at the meeting directly across from the same adult. Realizing her role as a bystander in a blatant act of intimidation, the pastor confronted the first individual and named his bullying behavior. His anger toward the pastor lasted several months but the bullying behavior ended immediately.

Adults in the church have a responsibility to model for younger generations Christ-like conflict resolution and ways to hold each other accountable for their behavior. What your congregation can do:

Provide opportunities to address issues of bullying from a Christian perspective (such as children/youth ministries, midweek programming, adult forums, retreats, men’s or women’s groups or intergenerational events).
Let the church be a place where young members know it is safe to talk about their role in the bullying cycle as the target, bystander or even the aggressor. Involve staff, volunteer leaders and parents in developing a policy to be included in your Children and Youth Ministry Handbook or other congregation-wide publications.
Help parents and other church leaders spot warning signs of bullying and give them tips and tools for ending it. Ask the congregation council to model an assertive, yet pastoral, response to bullying among adults at church.
Create codes of conduct for church meetings.
Call upon the mutual ministry committee or staff support system to offer pastors and other staff the confidential opportunity to name any situations where they considered themselves to play a role in the bullying cycle.

Providing a place of refuge

2012-05-11T06:00:00-06:00

By Cindy Novak

Members of Trinity Lutheran Church of Manhattan, an ELCA congregation in New York City, wanted to help but didn’t know how.

Through a local newspaper article, they and their pastor, Heidi Neumark, learned about the shortage of space at shelters for the thousands of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth and young adults living homeless in New York City — a population that often experiences abuse and trauma in shelters and on the streets.

“Our church felt very moved and angry about the situation, and convicted that this problem can sometimes be caused by church teachings,” Heidi says. “A large number of gay youth are kicked out of their homes for religious reasons. We felt concerned but didn’t know what we could do. We didn’t have the resources to do anything. We felt helpless.”

Their feeling of helplessness changed to hope in late 2005 after a local social service agency called out to churches, synagogues and other religious institutions to open their doors during the coldest months of the year and shelter seven homeless LGTBQ youth for seven nights.

“That seemed like a very do-able thing,” Heidi recalls. So for three weeks, the church’s undercroft was transformed into a place of refuge. Trinity’s seminary intern at that time coordinated the project and “…did a really excellent job — it went really well,” Heidi says.

So well, in fact, that the agency asked if Trinity could run a shelter full-time. And after a discernment process, the congregation responded with a resounding yes.

Since June 2006, Trinity Place Shelter has been providing LGBTQ youth and young adults with shelter year-round. The non-sectarian, 10-bed shelter provides a safe place to sleep, eat and store belongings. It also provides comprehensive health services, case management, education, career counseling, art classes and mental health services.

“We provide concrete services so residents can move forward with their lives,” Heidi says.

Like one former resident who, after receiving a wide range of services at Trinity Place, got accepted into a prestigious college. “During his first semester, a professor wrote an evaluation of him, describing his work as ‘absolutely exceptional,’” Heidi said. “He was really proud and wanted to share that with us.”

Another former resident visited Heidi after getting a job in the field of cosmetology. “He showed me his cosmetology kit and told me about what he was doing,” she said. “He kept talking and talking. He was so proud of what he had accomplished.”

“One of the nice things about working with youth is if you get them early, the chances are better for reintegration, compared with homeless clients over the age of 30,” says Nathan Miller, volunteer coordinator for Trinity Place. “I can’t guarantee that any of the residents will go on to become a CEO or the next Steve Jobs, but their chances are significantly better just because they are young, energetic and creative.”

Trinity Place Shelter has come a long way since beginning as a “bare-bones” operation, Heidi says, thanks to the “huge range of people and supporters that have made it possible.” Like a congregation from Wisconsin that donates gift cards for Christmas stocking stuffers; an artist who holds fundraisers at gallery showings; an opera singer who performs and raises money; school children who collect toiletries; a knitting group that creates warm hats, scarves and gloves for residents; and volunteers who prepare and serve nourishing, hot meals each week.

And Trinity Place Shelter could not have become a reality without the willingness of the congregation to take a risk, Heidi says. “There were many other churches that had larger, nicer space than we had. But our congregation said, ‘This is the space that we have, and we are willing to share it in this way. As followers of Jesus, we should use our space for the sake of helping.’ I was very proud of our church for catching that vision and actually embodying it, not just talking about it.”

Did you know …

20 percent of homeless youth are LGBTQ. In comparison, the general youth population is only 10 percent LGBTQ.
While homeless youth typically experience severe family conflict as the primary reason for their homelessness, LGBTQ youth are twice as likely to experience sexual abuse before the age of 12.
LGBTQ youth, once homeless, are at higher risk for victimization, mental health problems, and unsafe sexual practices; 58.7 percent of LGBTQ homeless youth have been sexually victimized compared to 33.4 percent of heterosexual homeless youth.
LGBTQ youth are roughly 7.4 times more likely to experience acts of sexual violence than heterosexual homeless youth.
LGBTQ homeless youth commit suicide at higher rates (62 percent) than heterosexual homeless youth (29 percent).

Source: National Coalition for the Homeless

Cindy Novak is a member of Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church in Naperville, Ill. She lives in Lisle, Ill., with her husband, David, and her children, Sam and Emily.

You might also want to read or watch:
Called as we are
Evangelism and scabby crosses
It gets better

Welcoming and supporting those with allergies, asthma

2012-05-11T05:00:00-06:00

Congregations across the ELCA are implementing innovative ways to create a climate that is welcoming and inclusive.

Unfortunately, the church lags behind other institutions in its awareness of environmental health, especially as it affects those with allergies and asthma. We expect safe, healthy schools, workplaces, smoke-free restaurants, and we ensure that our homes provide a healthy environment. How is it that we often overlook the church’s responsibility for our physical well-being?

More than 50 million Americans live with allergies and nearly 18 million have asthma. Indoor air pollution is cited as one of the top five health hazards in our country. For those with allergies and asthma, exposure to triggers can cause sneezing, coughing, breathing difficulties, nausea, headaches or even life-threatening anaphylaxis reactions.

For some, coming to church is a health hazard. Approximately 15 percent of the population is affected by multiple chemical sensitivity, which can lead to a reaction to fragrances and other chemicals in the environment at levels that have been generally accepted as non-toxic. In addition to the above symptoms, people with this sensitivity may experience short- or long-term memory loss, exhaustion, depression, learning disabilities (in children), skin irritations and a host of other reactions.

Common triggers

Foods: Eight foods are responsible for up to 90 percent of all food allergies: milk, eggs, peanuts, soy, wheat, tree nuts, fish and shellfish.

Chemicals: These are often in fragrances, cleaning materials, disinfectants, paints, latex and office supplies.

Airborne contaminants: Mold, dust and pollen are the most common culprits.

Animals and insects: Pets, bees, wasps, fire ants and cockroaches can trigger reactions.

While the nature of allergies and asthma is complex, steps can be taken to reduce the barriers that prevent members and visitors from full participation in the life of the congregation.

How you can help

Urge parents and leaders to provide snacks without nuts and nut oils (such as almond extract) or to mark baked goods containing these items.
Make it known that non-wheat or gluten-free bread is also available for communion.
Use the bulletin or newsletter to invite worshipers to avoid the use of perfume or after-shave. Consider adopting a “scent-free” policy.
If incense or scented candles are to be used, give advance notice.
Liability concerns are prompting many congregations to remove medications and EpiPens from first aid kits. Instead, train leaders to recognize symptoms and warning signs of asthma attacks or allergic reactions. A call to 911 is the preferred response.
Invite a parish nurse or health care professional to meet with committees and other leaders to address a holistic approach to maintaining a healthy environment at church. Include leaders for worship, Christian education, the early-childhood center, office personnel, building maintenance staff and volunteers.
Building maintenance is critical in combating mold. Keep the roof leak-free, control humidity and seal areas prone to moisture.
Be aware that ceiling fans wreak havoc as dust and carpet fibers are stirred up.
Schedule heavy maintenance, such as painting, carpet cleaning or wax-stripping, at a time when the fumes can be allowed to disperse.

A life-saving challenge

2012-05-11T05:00:00-06:00

Members of Nazareth Evangelical Lutheran Church in Cedar Falls, Iowa, raised $40,000 for the ELCA Malaria Campaign.

By Sarah Carson

Members of Nazareth Evangelical Lutheran Church, an ELCA congregation in Cedar Falls, Iowa, decided to take on a life-saving challenge.

They determined that they were going to raise $40,000 for the ELCA Malaria Campaign to help send mosquito nets to countries most afflicted by the disease.

Malaria, a preventable and treatable disease, is a leading cause of death in Africa, claiming the life of a child every 45 seconds. Through the ELCA Malaria Campaign, rolled out by the 2011 ELCA Churchwide Assembly, ELCA members are working with Lutheran churches in Africa to prevent, treat and contain the disease by 2015. A goal is to raise $15 million and support the anti-malaria efforts of Lutheran churches and organizations in 11 African countries. The ELCA Malaria Campaign is uniquely positioned to provide mosquito nets, insecticides, medication, health care, education and more to help eliminate deaths from this disease — for good.

The idea for members of Nazareth to raise funds for the campaign came from the ELCA Northeastern Iowa Synod.

“The synod had put out a challenge to each congregation to raise money for the (ELCA) Malaria Campaign, and they said, ‘Take your total membership and multiply that by $10.’ We came up with $40,000,” says Lori Haag, Nazareth’s financial secretary.

It costs $10 to send a mosquito net through the ELCA Malaria Campaign. That means $40,000 would yield 4,000 nets for people in need.

So, how long did it take members to raise this amount?

“We ended up raising that in four months,” says Lori. That’s $10,000 per month, which was collected in 2012.

According to Lori, the response to the call was overwhelming. “I think keeping it in people’s minds helped inspire people to give.”

To encourage the congregation to contribute to the campaign, Brian King, pastor of Nazareth, integrated malaria awareness into his sermons. The church’s youth ministry, Chaos, held two bake sales, and a parent decided to match the money raised at one. And since the fundraising idea came so close to Christmas, the congregation also created Christmas “postcards” to allow people to give donations as gifts or in memory of a loved one.

Wall of inspiration

But probably the most effective method of raising awareness was Lori’s interesting way of keeping track of the donations.

“Just before the (idea) was announced, we had done a (study) series on families, and our creative team had cut these stick figures out of foam. They were up on the wall in the sanctuary,” Lori says. “Our idea was that we would cut out a little person for each net that we raised, and as the money came in, I would put them on the wall.”

So Lori enlisted the help of the Nazareth’s fifth- and sixth-graders in cutting out 4,000 brightly colored stick-figure people, and for each net the congregation was able to give, one more stick-figure was put up in the halls of the church.

As people began to notice more and more of the brightly colored cutouts being hung, they started to get excited. “When people would walk down the hall as I was putting them up, people would ask, ‘Where are we at? Where are we at?’” Lori says.

The cut-outs also caught the attention of the congregation’s children. “We have a preschool program in our church. Those little kids loved to look at all of those different colors.”

Involving the children of the congregation proved to be useful. “We had a third-grader host a lemonade stand, raising $100,” Lori says. In addition, she remembers “a kindergartner that read to his grandparents, and for each book he read he got a quarter. Then when he raised $10, he bought a net with that money.”

As the donations began to pile up, the multi-colored stick people started to snake through the church halls. “It sounds silly, putting those people up on the walls,” Lori says, “but I think it got people excited.”

More important is the people who will be helped with that $40,000 donation.

“We looked at it as this,” says Lori. The stick people on the wall represent “how many lives we’ve saved.”

Sarah Carson is a freelance writer and editor who lives in Chicago.

You might also want to read or watch:
Make malaria history — a video
Fighting malaria one net at time
A generous response

Which cracks in your foundation need repair?

2012-05-11T04:50:00-06:00

We have many foundations besides the ones supporting our homes. They support our personal, social, work and faith lives. Small foundational cracks can grow if ignored and can threaten the entire structure. Which of your cracks need attention?

You might also want to read:
Help for those in a personal crisis
Stress puts more teens at risk
Eating disorders

Living Lutheran

How has your congregation dealt with the loss of a charismatic leader?

Jesus ‘at-oned’ us

Lectionary blog for John 17:6-19Texts for the Seventh Sunday of Easter, May 20, 2012

Talkback:

Life without expectations

How has immigration impacted your life?

Turning points

Grace for the kaput mother

Do you tweet?

A message from Red Square

Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma

Tips for your congregation’s library

Know your audience

Purge the shelves

Out of sight, out of mind

Avoiding the pitfalls

Books selection tips

The congregation's responsibility to address bullying

What is bullying?

Bullying and the bystander

Providing a place of refuge

Did you know …

Welcoming and supporting those with allergies, asthma

Common triggers

How you can help

A life-saving challenge

Wall of inspiration

Which cracks in your foundation need repair?

Lectionary blog for John 17:6-19
Texts for the Seventh Sunday of Easter, May 20, 2012