Loving and learning with Grandma

Sermon helper Darlene Audus in London.

The hymn lyrics, “Here I Am, Lord” and “Is it I, Lord?” bring tears to my grandmother’s eyes. “What if it’s true?” she asked me one day, revealing how ill-prepared and under-educated she felt she was to be God’s hands and feet in the world.

If you asked me, I’d tell you that most of the things I know about faith and advocacy, I learned watching my grandmother feed and care for people. No amount of education could create such an open, giving and humble heart. As a pastor and friend, I often find myself asking: What would grandma do?

But, if you asked my grandmother, she would tell you that she doesn’t have anything interesting to say about faith. She’d likely change the subject and tell you how proud she is that I’m a pastor and how she wept watching online in South Dakota as I was received into the ELCA at a service in San Francisco.

She might even tell you how bothersome it is that I always talk about her in sermons or when I make her be in a video with me.

Yet, when I preach as if I’m talking to my grandmother or answer the questions my grandmother has about faith, I find that my words about the Bible and Christian life become more understandable to others.

My grandmother is willing to ask me the questions she thinks would make her look foolish at church because she changed my diapers and knows I’m not going to judge her.

Sharing her questions allows those with similar fears to get answers. I also hope it helps people understand that pastors exist to ask foolish questions and love it when someone else takes a turn asking them.

A spiritual trip

This past July, I took my grandmother and mother with me on my continuing education trip to Ireland, England and Scotland.

There we learned about the lives of Saints Aidan, Patrick, Paul, John, George and Ringo.

While I’m sure I would have learned a lot on my own, they helped me travel and tell the stories of the faithful in ways that delighted in their ordinary humanness, reminded me to laugh and wear funny costumes and reminded me of what I’m usually telling others: that we must take care of ourselves, particularly when we are the ones so often taking care of others.

If you’re lucky, you have a grandmother (or aunt, mother or friend) like mine. For, if the greatest commandment is to love, then the greatest gift to our lives and faith are the people who teach us how to love and be loved.

Martin Luther, the family man

Martin Luther’s sermon’s and writings profoundly changed after he got married and had children.

Being a father and the premature death of one of his daughters helped him understand love and faith in ways that I imagine he would not have had access to if he would have remained celibate.

I also imagine that my life and ministry will also grow and change when I become a parent.

Whether you have children, living grandparents or other people whom you feel you can address your foolish questions about faith to, I hope that questioning love that I share with my grandmother will inspire you to join with generations upon generations who have big unanswerable questions that cause us to wrestle with God or with other ELCA members (particularly when our answers get in the way).

For those who still feel like they can’t ask their questions out loud, remember that Lutherans tend to answer questions with an “and” rather than a “yes” or a “no.” A Lutheran answer tends to sound like: Here is what we have believed AND no matter what we do or don’t do, God loves us, forgives us and longs for our wholeness.

May God bless your questioning.

Megan M. Rohrer is an ELCA pastor called by five congregations and has been a missionary to the homeless in San Francisco since 2002.