Originally posted Nov. 17, 2011, at Palm Tree in Poland. Republished with permission of the author.
The best thing I ever did as a pastor was to kick a guy out of the congregation. Pastors are generally in the business of bringing in the sheep. It’s what we do.
Bring ‘em in and care for the flock.
So I did.
And, ironically, in this one case, caring for the people of God meant asking a young adult man to leave.
“Bud,” (not his real name) I said, “you gotta go. Our church is not safe with you in it.”
This is the thing. I watched him spending too much time with a couple of young boys, barely adolescent, from single-parent households, vulnerable and isolated in a variety of ways.
I spent 10 years working full-time professionally in the sexual abuse field. I knew what it looked like, as many of the experts you’ve heard recently on TV have testified. There is a pattern. Grooming. Setting up a situation where the person becomes even more isolated and dependent upon the predator. Flattery. Sometimes blackmail. Bud was already at work when I arrived on the scene. A couple of people mentioned to me that it felt “off” — the way he interacted with these boys. So I paid careful attention. And agreed.
“Bud,” I told him, “you gotta go. And if I could, I’d call the police now.” But there were no actionable crimes I could report. He told me he was moving to another state. A few weeks later I got a letter requesting his transfer of membership. I didn’t sign it. But I wrote a letter. “Watch. Like a hawk.”
Keep your eyes open. Watch. And, as they say, when you see something, say something. Ask a friend to watch with you. Don’t prejudge but be wise. Be careful. You can save a child. You can save a child.
You are part of the team that our kids count on. You. Don’t let them down.
Find a link to Jan Erickson’s entry on the blog Palm Tree in Poland at Lutheran Blogs.