Originally posted Nov. 17, 2011, at Palm Tree in Poland. Republished with permission of the author.
The best thing I ever did as a pastor was to kick a guy out of the congregation. Pastors are generally in the business of bringing in the sheep. It’s what we do.
Bring ‘em in and care for the flock.
So I did.
And, ironically, in this one case, caring for the people of God meant asking a young adult man to leave.
“Bud,” (not his real name) I said, “you gotta go. Our church is not safe with you in it.”
This is the thing. I watched him spending too much time with a couple of young boys, barely adolescent, from single-parent households, vulnerable and isolated in a variety of ways.
I spent 10 years working full-time professionally in the sexual abuse field. I knew what it looked like, as many of the experts you’ve heard recently on TV have testified. There is a pattern. Grooming. Setting up a situation where the person becomes even more isolated and dependent upon the predator. Flattery. Sometimes blackmail. Bud was already at work when I arrived on the scene. A couple of people mentioned to me that it felt “off” — the way he interacted with these boys. So I paid careful attention. And agreed.
“Bud,” I told him, “you gotta go. And if I could, I’d call the police now.” But there were no actionable crimes I could report. He told me he was moving to another state. A few weeks later I got a letter requesting his transfer of membership. I didn’t sign it. But I wrote a letter. “Watch. Like a hawk.”
Keep your eyes open. Watch. And, as they say, when you see something, say something. Ask a friend to watch with you. Don’t prejudge but be wise. Be careful. You can save a child. You can save a child.
You are part of the team that our kids count on. You. Don’t let them down.
Find a link to Jan Erickson’s entry on the blog Palm Tree in Poland at Lutheran Blogs.
You might also want to read:
Nurturing families experiencing domestic abuse
Safeguarding God’s children
Kids not for sale
The actions described herein don't sit well with me. On one hand, exclusion is a reasonable Law-based solution to the issue of a sinner in our midst. On the other hand, exclusion doesn't fix the problem for other people. Even warning the other congregation, he could still go elsewhere, and maybe they'll warn the future one and maybe they won't. It's a very local fix that only avoids the real problem.
Most worrying is the absence of Christ here. The church as a human institution is wrapped up in the Law, so doing things like exile and exclusion happen. However, the mission of the Church is to spread the life-giving Gospel to everyone. Bud sounds like he really needs the Gospel. Why was it not proclaimed to him? Why is it assumed that he will never repent? Isn't this exactly what the Pharisees did to tax collectors, prostitutes and lepers-- a set of people who were believed could never reform?
No Peter, you're wrong. Pastor Jan did exactly the right thing. She demonstrated the compassion and mercy of Christ for those children.
Yes indeed, the would-be perp needs to hear about the saving grace of God, but not where he is in a position where he can hurt more children.
Child molesters have a very high rate of recidivism. I've worked in the prison system and with children from abusive situations for years. Those guys rarely get better, and their victims frequently suffer for decades. Over 75% of the prison inmates in the US were abused as children.
The pastor could not stop Bud from going elsewhere. All she could do, within the laws of the US, is warn - warn - warn. She couldn't protect everyone, but she did protect the ones she could.
Pastor Jan did the right thing. Not only did she protect vulnerable children, she showed them their are worth protecting, they are lovable. She was Christ to them.
So let's be on guard for "works righteousness" first and foremost, and let child rape get handled by the gospel….nice
Where is this guy going to be in a place where he is unable to harm any (you're already assuming guilt on his part when you say 'more') children? Jail? You're telling me that there isn't anything that can be done to protect these kids short of exile? Talking to them won't help, making sure there is always another person aware of the potential problems on-hand with him, or that the only step is to assume guilt and ostracize him? Did the kids or their parents even have any input into this decision? Do the kids actually feel protected?
I'm still not convinced it was necessary, and it doesn't feel right to me at all. It runs contrary to things like "Love your enemies" and giving one's life up for the very people taking it. Perhaps it was necessary, but even then, I don't think it would be any more right than killing someone in self-defense.
granny...I don't think you understand the power of the Gospel.
Having worked in Juvenile corrections for a number of years I understand the concern for the children and the need to break the cycle of predator and victim. Stepping in and stopping the grooming was an act of Gospel, not only for the potential victims, but also for the perpetrator. It is only in confronting our sin that we able to accept help and the Gospel. That is not to say that this one act will bring about healing, but it moves healing a bit closer to the perpetrator and at the same time protect the children. Thank you for living out the good news.
The issue here isn't whether or not the guy was asked to leave the church. Those of us who have been involved in the church long enough know there are times to do such things.
The issue is the process leading up to the expulsion. Peter is correct in that the guy needs the transformational power of the Gospel. And Jan is correct in that such behavior must be confronted. However, and perhaps it is because we are not exposed to the entire process, it doesn't look like Jan followed Jesus' instructions for handling those who sin--Matthew 18 is the relevant chapter.
Perhaps by following Jesus' command and confronting the sin in this manner, the guy would have been given the opportunity to address his addiction. But it doesn't look like the guy even got the chance--which reflects poorly on an institution that claims "all are welcome."
Thank you, thank you, thank you Pastor Erickson.
I am the single mother of a [then teen-aged] son with mental retardation
who was molested in the bathroom of our church.
The molester was a lifetime church member already with 2 or 3 felony convictions for this behavior
and & a history of unsuccessful treatment at a 1st-rate institution in our area.
In response to this latest crime, our pastor & council finally classified him as a homebound shut-in
so that he would receive pastoral care but could not come onto church property.
WOULD THAT THIS ACTION HAD BEEN TAKEN AFTER THE FIRST TIME!
Again I say, thank you Pastor.
These guys don't stop: my son's molester was 83 years old at the time.