Has there been a time when you felt you had lost your faith in God? Did the crisis have a specific cause or did it arise over time? How did you cope during that period and how did the struggle affect the faith you have today?
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Recent developments in the church have caused me, and apparently many others, not so much to question our faith in God, but to question the church's fidelity to its calling to being the Body of Christ, and thus a means for God's presence in the world.
I was ordained 21 years ago today and each day I try to walk in the light of loving God and loving others. All of the law and prophets and life hang on those words. I have experienced a faith crisis when the children of God try to restrict the view of who God loves, whether it be over issues of communion or who can serve in ministry, and then I am reminded that these are issues of community, not faith. I pray for the day when all are welcome into the family and ministry of God and when people of all faiths can come together and recognize one another as fellow sojourners in our united faith journey.
When I was a hospital chaplain, I went through a difficult time when I thought I had lost my faith because all I had were questions. There had been a heavy time of trauma, deaths, and child abuse in spite of all our prayers. I was so angry and questioning of God, my faith, and the meaning of it all. What scared me the most was feeling that I had lost my faith.
After a long talk with a good friend, he assured me that I still had faith. I didn't see how because it didn't feel that way. He said that my anger and questions were all directed to God and as long as long as the conversation continued, my faith was still present.
It was also during that time, that I discovered the psalms of lament where people start out with anger and questions but end in faith.
Coming through that time made my faith much deeper and stronger than it had ever been before. We don't have to shelter God from our anger or our questions. They are not signs of a lack of faith but steps along the way to a deeper relationship.
I like Frederick Buechner's definition of doubt in his book “Wishful Thinking.” Whether you believe with all your heart that there is a God or whether you believe with all your heart that there is not a God, if you don’t have any doubts you are either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith, they keep it awake and moving.